Thứ Ba, 31 tháng 8, 2010

THE GREATEST PAIN

MY GREATEST PAIN
Thirteen years ago, I was born by my mom. When I was born, my weight was 3.2kg and I cried a lot when I came out of my mom’s body. I only used my hands and legs to move my heavy body.
That time, I didn’t really know how to walk and talk. I just cried when I was hungry, and thirsty. Then 1 year later, everyone was gone and I slept on my bed. I slept for 1 hour then I woke up with out my parents beside me so I felt off my bed because I was rolling all the time. So that’s why I felt off my bed, then I had a plan to go to the staircase because I thought it was fun. My parents went outside, my first sister went to English’s school, and my grandma was holding my second sister. Then no one was there with me, I used my hands and my legs to carry my body to the staircase. But when I moved a half of the distance, my first sister was home and she went up stair to get her clothes for taking a bath. Then I followed her but she went up stair really fast because she knew how to walk and run. But that time, I didn’t know how to walk so I took a long time to get up there. My parents still didn’t know that I woke up and followed my sister up stair. The staircase has 10 steps; the width was 1.3 meters. It was hard when I went up stair because I needed really strong hands to climb up stair. When I got up there, I took 10 minutes to climb up. Then she went down the staircase but my sister didn’t see me because I was a little boy. I needed to carry my heavy body again and that time, the staircase was smooth and dark because my sister turned off the lights when she went down stair. I just passed 1 step then I felt and I was rolling like a ball when a soccer player kicks it to their enemy’s goal. Then I got wound by a corner of the door. I cried a lot and my sister came out to tell my parents that I felt from the staircase and I got a lot of pain on my forehead. Then they took me to the hospital because it flew really fast and I was nearly dead. My parents thought I was dead but I did pass from the wounded. My parents were really happy and I got a big scar in front of my head forever.
A few years later, I knew how to walk and knew a few words so I talked. When I knew how to walk, I was always going up and down that staircase for everyday. But something that I didn’t know, I didn’t touch or figure what it is. If I know something, I will help everyone who needs my help.

4 nhận xét:

Athrun C nói...

"Greatest" is a dead word. However, it was a lil' bit short.... :P

Athrun C nói...

is it suppose t' b fell off ??? :P

Patrick nói...

This is a terrifying story for a parent or teacher to read. It makes people think how careful they have to be with babies. Do you remember falling down the stairs? Even though you were so young, something like that could stay in your memory forever. I want you to work on developing the story Jerry. You might have to make up some details if you don't remember. What were your parents doing? What did you sister run to get? How old were your sisters? Make you characters rounder. Right now I really can't imagine much but a baby falling down the stairs.

Athrun C nói...

i agree w/ mr.pat :P ... it was terrifying

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